Wednesday, July 19, 2006

It's so hot...
Tomorrow is forecast to be another 100+ day. The heat has made life in Georgia miserable. Therefore, I've decided to make everyone else equally miserable - by writing a few horrible "it's so hot.." jokes.

Feel free to forward this in an email to everyone you dislike.

Religions

It's so hot, the Baptists aren't burning any books.

It's so hot, Satan went home until it cools off.

It's so hot, the Jehovah's Witnesses are thinking of putting in a window.


Plants and Animals

It's so hot, the squirrels are leaving their nuts uncovered.

It's so hot, I saw a cornfield explode.

It's so hot, my dog is afraid to lick his own butt.


People

It's so hot, a woman spilled McDonald's coffee in her lap - and didn't sue.

It's so hot, every gay person who came out has gone back in.

It's so hot, President Bush is starting to make sense.
(Sorry, Texas - I didn't understand.)


Just Plain Stupid

It's so hot, even my wife is losing weight.



How hot is it where you live?

posted by Carl Bryant @ 10:09 PM   17 comments Literary Shirts

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17 Comments:

At 12:07 AM, Blogger Dawn Benko said...

It's so hot I didn't realize my hair was on fire.

Hey, I tried.


 

 

At 7:06 AM, Blogger Adam said...

where abouts in Georgia are you ?


 

 

At 7:53 AM, Anonymous Steve said...

It's as hot as love.

It's so hot, I'm considering punching airholes in my refrigerator.


 

 

At 9:48 AM, Blogger Carl Bryant said...

I'm in Athens, Adam.

Dawn - ash blondes are cool.

Steve, that's funny stuff!


 

 

At 3:26 PM, Blogger C. E. Chaffin said...

The dog and gay jokes were my favorites.

Envy me--I live on the northern California coast, where it's 70/50, not to mention all the redwoods in my yard.

It's so hot my psychiatric medications melted before I could get them to my mouth.


 

 

At 3:44 PM, Blogger SarahJane said...

hi carl -
glad to see you're back.
how hot is it? it's freaking hot.


 

 

At 4:24 PM, Blogger michi said...

It's so hot, the Jehovah's Witnesses are thinking of putting in a window.

It's so hot, a woman spilled McDonald's coffee in her lap - and didn't sue.


tee-hee. :))))

it's so hot i cannot even think of a lame joke, let alone a really good one.

95+ here. getting really muggy. bleargh.


 

 

At 8:16 PM, Blogger lorguru said...

Get ready for some corn...


It's so hot I invited the lizzards in for a margarita.

It's so hot, I haven't mowed my lawn in a month. My dog went out last night and I haven't seen him since.

It's so hot I wear a sombrero and sun screen to walk to the mailbox. That mailbox hangs on my house.


It's so hot I'm having an affair with an air conditioning repair guy...just in case.

It's so hot I hung my laundry out to dry, but it just got sweaty.

It's so hot, the Republicans finally decided it was time to acknowledge global warming. Nah...just jokin'!

-lauren


 

 

At 11:34 PM, Blogger Carl Bryant said...

Craig - I do envy your redwoods. I have a few maples and an old sycamore. The shade is a wonderful spot for reading. Your meds melted? Uh-oh... reminds me of the old joke about the guy who suffered from paranoia. He wouldn't take his meds because he suspected someone had tampered with them.

Sarah - freaking hot is pretty hot, indeed. Enjoy your vacation!

Michi - it's so hot, you walked outside... And you were still hotter than the air temperature. Congrats on the Hiss publication!

Lauren, I love your cornball humor - especially the sweaty laundry. I laughed aloud.


 

 

At 7:54 AM, Blogger michi said...

lauren - love the laundry one!

carl - but then you know, i am ALWAYS hotter than air ... ;)

m


 

 

At 9:33 AM, Blogger jenni said...

"It's so hot, the squirrels are leaving their nuts uncovered."

LOL

good to have you back!


 

 

At 5:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My dad used to tell this joke.... It's so hot, today I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking.

Jeff


 

 

At 6:55 PM, Anonymous Kyle Korleski said...

It's so hot I am considering immigrating to Canada ^_^


 

 

At 12:38 PM, Blogger Pris said...

Love these!

I'm in Florida. It's always hot here. That's why the hurricanes come. They figure they need to cool us off for a day.


 

 

At 4:00 PM, Blogger GC (God's Child) said...

re the Jehovah's Witnesses

So that's what was different about the Kingdom Halls. I just couldn't put my finger on it.


 

 

At 10:49 AM, Blogger Dee said...

It so hot the JW's thnking about putting in a window...

Love that my mums one and just had French doors added to the back of the house.

Good One!


 

 

At 4:40 PM, Anonymous lu said...

It's so hot my dog jumped into a roll.


 

 

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