Wednesday, August 30, 2006

disneyland in outer space
My ex-wife and I were discussing religion the other night, so naturally the subject of Pluto came up. She favors creationism over evolution because science lacks constancy. It’s hard for her to trust something so flighty.

I usually disagree with the ex as a matter of principle, but – doggone it – she has a point. Just when you think you have something memorized, they go and snatch the solar system right out from under you.

My solar system mnemonic is shot to hell. Like many folks my age, my planetary arrangement depended upon the phrase “My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas.” Astronomy just stole my pizza.

It’s the end of the solar system as we know it … and there’s no thirty-minute guarantee.

What will kids memorize now – “My Very Evil Mother Just Served Us Nothing?” Way to go, astronomy – take my pie… and blame it on mother.

At least I didn’t waste time studying the new science of exobiology when they touted that (now discredited) Martian meteorite with the pseudo-fossils.

What’s next – reclassifying Uranus as a black hole?

While we’re at it, let’s reclassify Earth as “An expendable roundish body ruled by republicans.” They’ll probably blow it up soon anyway, and there’ll be less paperwork afterwards.

I wish I could believe in a religion.

posted by Carl Bryant @ 7:13 PM   8 comments Literary Shirts

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At 6:29 PM, Blogger michi said...

"While we’re at it, let’s reclassify Earth as “An expendable roundish body ruled by republicans.” They’ll probably blow it up soon anyway, and there’ll be less paperwork afterwards."


been missing your weirdness. weirdity? weirdence? weirdism?




At 7:42 PM, Blogger lorguru said...

I agree



At 1:38 AM, Blogger LKD said...

I like this:

I wish I could believe in religion.

For years, I've been struggling with my lack of faith, my complete disbelief in god after having been baptized and confirmed in the catholic church and believing fervently and rather literally in jehovah for the first 17 or so years of my life.

I wish I believed in religion too.

I miss Pluto already.
As much as Santa Claus.
And God.
And the tooth fairy.

Glad to see you're alive and well, sir.



At 5:23 AM, Blogger michi said...

found an article on an austrian news website today saying there is a petition to rehabilitate pluto. so we shall see. maybe the last word has not been spoken.



At 7:59 AM, Blogger Rus Bowden said...

Hi Carl,

Great to see you're back. I am concerned about your burns.

Last night, before he signed off, Frank Wilson linked to this blogpost: Thought Experiments: All Physicists are Wrong all the Time, which leads to this article: Wired Magazine: Physics Wars.




At 7:11 PM, Blogger Carl Bryant said...

Hi Rus.

The burns are healing nicely. They hardly trouble me at all.

String theory doesn't trouble me very much. I don't claim to understand its intricacies, but it seems obvious to me reality stretches beyond the few dimensions we normally experience - take the recent "dark matter" observation, for example.

Laurel - Jesus told me to tell you that you've been very bad and will get nothing but coal this year. FYI - there are only 130 praying days until Christmas.

Michi, I'd appreciate anything you could do on Pluto's behalf. Thank God for Austria.



At 4:26 AM, Blogger michi said...

i hope they were not talking about mickey mouse's pluto.

*scratches head*



At 5:02 PM, Blogger Carl Bryant said...

Michi - Mickey Mouse's Pluto isn't in rehab. That's just goofy.

Lauren, you're a cartoon - back me up here.



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