Sunday, December 31, 2006

2007 New Year Resolutions
This year, I promise I will -

- stop asking the Chuck E Cheese waitress if she knows the current threat level.

- buy a dictionary and finally look up the meaning of the word "resolution."

- drink a glass of tang without saying "that was tangy" and giggling.

- confess to my children that they were not adopted, after all.

- stop asking my wife if she thinks Jesus knew how to swim.

- spend less time outside, more time online, and gain 30 pounds.

- feed the replacement cat.

- stop leaving things unfinished.

-

- find the man who shot my pa, and force him to draw.

- stop carrying rolls of pennies to the nudie bar.

posted by Carl Bryant @ 12:25 AM   10 comments Literary Shirts

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10 Comments:

At 10:09 AM, Blogger Arlene said...

hey, you're baaaaack! wheeeee! hope you get to stick to your resolutions. all that giggling over tang is unnerving. no wonder your wife has turned to jesus. whatever. teehee.

have a hoppy new year!

a.


 

 

At 11:21 AM, Blogger Carl Bryant said...

Hi there, Ms Ang!

How are the driving lessons going? What's your body count up to now?


 

 

At 11:48 AM, Blogger Collin said...

Happy New Year, Carl. I'm sure the strippers will be thankful not have bruises on their thighs from being hit with rolls of pennies. lol!


 

 

At 11:51 AM, Blogger Carl Bryant said...

Happy New Year, Collin!

I hope things are fine in the big city. Here in Athens, life is grand.

PS
You stuff the roll of pennies into their underwear. It hurts their overall earnings, but it makes them somehow seem happier to see you.


 

 

At 1:25 PM, Blogger LKD said...

It's alive! It's alive!

Wow, Carl. You're....

here.

Damn.

Where the hell you been, mister?

Hope you and yours have a happy new year.

And regarding your last resolution:

Underwear? Under where? Carl, dude, how in the heck are you going to tuck a roll of pennies into one of them thar thongs? (grin)

(meanwhile, I was picturing the pennies being used as an alternative to pasties)


 

 

At 1:55 PM, Blogger Carl Bryant said...

Laurel! It's you!

It's nice to know that you're still among the living, too. I've been reading the poems you post on your blog, but I couldn't tell if you were alive or not.

(ducking and running)


 

 

At 2:21 PM, Blogger LKD said...

You have no idea how close to the truth your comment is.

My resolution for the new year is to live.

Or at least, look alive.

(maybe I should change my blog name to Possum....)


 

 

At 3:08 PM, Blogger Carl Bryant said...

Laurel, I love your photography, and your poetry.

Heck - I even like Bob.


 

 

At 9:58 AM, Anonymous Steve said...

"feed the replacement cat"... funny stuff!


 

 

At 8:30 PM, Blogger Carl Bryant said...

Thanks, Steve.

I personally believe that a cat who can't forage isn't much of a cat - or won't be, in a few weeks.


 

 

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