Friday, December 29, 2006

In case there's someone I haven't yet offended...
While I'm in a religious mood, here's a quick photoshop Editorial Cartoon:

Last Sunday, our pastor told his first of two jokes (there are exactly two in each of his sermons.) It was that old dirty joke about the woman who tries to teach her parakeet not to curse. He realized midway that he couldn't tell that joke from the pulpit, so he changed it. He rambled for about five minutes, then told us the parakeet (whose name was "Chippy") was accidentally sucked into a vacuum cleaner. He concluded by saying it was a very sad thing, indeed.

Several ladies from the handbell choir were sitting in front of me and muttering amongst themselves as to the story's meaning. It had absolutely nothing to do with the scripture (micah 5) so I explained it to them. The moral is: "it sucks to be Chippy."

I guess I spoke a little loudly, because the pastor gave me one of his "I hate Carl" looks. I earned my last "I hate Carl" look for using "abracadabra" instead of "amen" whilst saying grace in the fellowship hall.

It rattled him so badly, he forgot himself and told an off-color jew joke. On Christmas Eve. In Church. In front of six hundred people. Apparently, Jews are cheap, money-hungry, godless people.

It must be because they aren't members of the most exclusive methodist church in town.

Does anyone else find it peculiar that - somehow - what God hates always coincides with what you hate?

posted by Carl Bryant @ 6:09 PM   2 comments Literary Shirts

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At 3:39 AM, Blogger SarahJane said...

that's cause god is such a smarty.
abracadabra, amen.



At 11:28 AM, Blogger Carl Bryant said...

Sarah, I think you've hit the nail on the head.

Wisdom is found in agreement with the discerning select few.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, "I agree with you."



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