Monday, January 01, 2007

A New Day is Dawning
The Interior Department proposed Wednesday to designate polar bears as a threatened species.

Apparently, when we heat the planet enough to melt all of the ice in the arctic, it not only makes life hell for republicans... it makes life hard for the polar bears, too.

Quote:
"...in a conference call with reporters, Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne said that although his decision to seek protection for polar bears acknowledged the melting of the Arctic ice, his department was not taking a position on why the ice was melting or what to do about it."
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The FDA says meat from cloned animals is safe for human consumption.

A recent study found that 64% of Americans expressed a discordant viewpoint of whole-organism mammalian reproductive clone consumption, of which 46% were strongly discordant. Another study found that when the wording was changed, 80% were "agin it," with 65% "rilly agin it."

The FDA defended its findings by claiming that (by law) they could only consider the real scientific evidence. Consumer groups have expressed outrage at such an insanely sensible law.
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Saddam Hussein was
recently executed.

Tiny Brain sources report President Bush planned to call beforehand and apologize for the whole "mass destruction" misunderstanding, but was distracted by a bit of shiny tinfoil stuck to the end of a sweaty polar bear.
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Have a wonderful New Year!

posted by Carl Bryant @ 11:48 AM   0 comments Literary Shirts